Is there anything more prone to salvage than rememberances of events gone by? More symbolically salvageable than Christmas ornaments?
Once something is realized as "the last" so often the last is already gone. Had, done, passing without notice. And so, I think of this Christmas as the last, but really, it was the first, the last being the Christmas before--2009. And to silently commemorate the first-ness of this year the children cut down the tree in our woods. Usually we go to a tree farm and get one there. Strangely, last year, as Tom was tying the tree to the top of the car, the thought: "I will never see him do this again," flashed through my mind. At the time I simultaneously took a couple of pictures and shook my head as if to throw that thought off; toss it back into the snow and trees where it could be forgotten.
But forgotten that moment was not. It came, a haunt in the day and the night, sneaking into my thoughts like a wisp of mist between firs.
Once something is realized as "the last" so often the last is already gone. Had, done, passing without notice. And so, I think of this Christmas as the last, but really, it was the first, the last being the Christmas before--2009. And to silently commemorate the first-ness of this year the children cut down the tree in our woods. Usually we go to a tree farm and get one there. Strangely, last year, as Tom was tying the tree to the top of the car, the thought: "I will never see him do this again," flashed through my mind. At the time I simultaneously took a couple of pictures and shook my head as if to throw that thought off; toss it back into the snow and trees where it could be forgotten.
But forgotten that moment was not. It came, a haunt in the day and the night, sneaking into my thoughts like a wisp of mist between firs.
No comments:
Post a Comment