So, here's what I hear almost every day. "Living with you is misery. Being in this house is misery. You make me feel like a piece of shit, like crap, and it has been that way for years. You constantly berate me, and won't let me do what I want. it is just miserable being with you. I don't know why you are doing this to me."
This can come out of the blue, because I am on the computer doing some work or reading emails, because I had a "game face" not sure what that means, because I disagreed with an opinion he expressed about something on CNN (disagreement is also met with, "I do know things. I really do know what I am talking about, you always tell me I don't know what I am talking about and this is why there is no conversation."), the perception that I am upset or angry. I have tried different approaches: calm tone, no tone noncommittal responses, offering my opinion, angry tone, rebuttal...all come to the same thing. "The misery factor with you is unbelievable."
He insists I turned the children against him so that he would have to go to the Dr. There was nothing wrong, but I convinced the children there was and so he went to the Dr. and now he is diagnosed (more diagnostic stuff to come in Nov.) with frontotemporal dementia FTD
There was something very wrong before he got a medical opinion, we just did not know what it was. The issues were clear to the whole family--everyone but him.
This can come out of the blue, because I am on the computer doing some work or reading emails, because I had a "game face" not sure what that means, because I disagreed with an opinion he expressed about something on CNN (disagreement is also met with, "I do know things. I really do know what I am talking about, you always tell me I don't know what I am talking about and this is why there is no conversation."), the perception that I am upset or angry. I have tried different approaches: calm tone, no tone noncommittal responses, offering my opinion, angry tone, rebuttal...all come to the same thing. "The misery factor with you is unbelievable."
He insists I turned the children against him so that he would have to go to the Dr. There was nothing wrong, but I convinced the children there was and so he went to the Dr. and now he is diagnosed (more diagnostic stuff to come in Nov.) with frontotemporal dementia FTD
There was something very wrong before he got a medical opinion, we just did not know what it was. The issues were clear to the whole family--everyone but him.
I am so very sorry for you, and your family.
ReplyDeleteDementia is a terrible disease. Unfortunately he will not get it. If he will, the understanding will only last for moments, and then the denial will start again. This is typical for dementia, and not just your husband:(
our frontal lobes contains all our social skills, moral, logic etc and right now it's falling apart. Please, find a councellor who can help you find your balance in life, because that will make it easier for you to manage him.
Dealing with people with dementia is difficult. sometimes impossible. and it will not get easier
please, get help. for yourself and for your husband. Make sure you get some time for yourself doing things for yourself.
I'll say a prayer for you and your family!!
best regards